Quiz: How Dependent on Coffee Are You?

Coffee: the fuel that fuels a lot of us when the fuel tank is on empty. But just how dependent are you on this fuel? Take the ten question quiz below and find out. How does it work? Read each question and simply answer yes or no. At the end, total up the yeses and see where you fall on the dependency spectrum.

1. When you wake up in the morning the first thing you do is get coffee. I’m talking roll out of bed, still in your snoopy pajamas and not totally sure what day of the week it is first thing. Yes or No?

2. You dream about coffee more than once a week. Maybe you’re sipping a freshly brewed cup on the patio of some cafe in Milan, or maybe you’re dancing slowly to You’re Beautiful with a tall, dark, handsome cup of joe. Yes or No?

3. You have more than three cups a day. Yes or No?

4. You’ve thought about the idea of wearing one of those beer dispensing helmets and filling it with coffee. Yes or No?

5. You’ve thought about setting up an IV to pump coffee straight into your blood stream. Yes or No?

6. Sometimes you have trouble falling asleep because you’re so excited about the coffee you’re going to have in the morning. Yes or No?

7. When desperate, you’re willing to top off that cold, half empty cup of Maxwell that’s been sitting in the break room since Monday. It’s now Thursday. Yes or No?

8. You know when people talk about the love of their life and say how when they’re with them it’s like they’re in this bubble of complete bliss and happiness? Coffee does that for you. Yes or No?

9. When bummed out you often drive to the grocery store and spend a long amount of time just sitting in the coffee aisle taking in the smell. Yes or No?

10. You can’t remember the last day you went without coffee. Yes or No?

Okay, now that you’ve finished the quiz, it’s time to tally up the yeses. To do this, you’ll need to go back through the quiz and add up all the yeses you circled in either pen, pencil, or other marking device. (Oh, you didn’t use a marking device because you only had to count to ten at the most? That’s cool, too. Just don’t tell your buddy who is proudly taping his quiz to the refrigerator, that he completed in crayon.) Once you’ve done this, refer to the graphic below and view the results.

Yeses: 1-3 — Amount of coffee dependence: low

What this says about you: you’re not against a good cup of joe. You even like it, and probably enjoy one in the morning on the odd day or at a coffee shop with a friend, but you don’t rely on it to get through the day. You could just as easily go without it and not feel like your life is spiraling out of control.

Yeses: 4 to 6 — Amount of coffee dependence: medium

What this says about you: you’re like most Americans. Coffee plays an important role in your day. It gets you going in the morning, and often in the afternoon too. Everything seems a little more manageable and a little less exhausting when you have coffee by your side. Go without it, however, and you might want to stab somebody with a blade that wouldn’t physically do them any harm but would still probably sting a little.

Yeses: 7 to 10 — Amount of coffee dependence: high

What this says about you: for you, coffee is no longer just coffee. It’s something more. It’s a reliable companion. A shoulder to cry on. An ear to speak to. A friend to go on a road trip with. Like a long road trip, too. Perhaps you could start in Key West, Florida and drive all the way to Alaska. Yeah, that’d be fun. Coffee would probably even drive a little if you asked nicely. That’s because coffee is whatever you want it to be, really. And you quite possibly rely on it more than you should. Consult a doctor if necessary.

2 thoughts on “Quiz: How Dependent on Coffee Are You?”

  1. They lied about coffee, Devon 🙁 They said it will give you a boost and keep you awake — it doesn’t. I can drink percolated coffee before I go to bed and still sleep. Whoever “they” are, should be horsewhipped, beaten with a nail-studded 4 x 2 or at least let me whack them with my walking stick 😀
    Despite their lies, freshly ground coffee smells divine!

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