It’s four o’clock. Or whatever time it is that you have one hour of work left. You’ve put in a good shift—even got a few things accomplished that you didn’t expect to—and now all you desire is to see that last second of work tick off the clock. The only problem is, the last hour of work always, ALWAYS creeps by with the speed of a snail who hasn’t seen a treadmill in a few weeks longer than he’d like to admit. For perspective, here’s a list of things that seem to go faster, and in reality probably do, than that last hour of work.
1. Painting a fence AND watching it dry. You applied more than one coat because you’re a professional and you stand by your work.
2. Watching a Trilogy called The Mechanics Behind Stuffing a Sleeping Bag. It’s not as exciting as it sounds.
3. Driving from Boston to Amarillo, Texas.
4. Folding the laundry. It’s a large load. You had to separate it into two different loads in the wash, and we all know those two loads should have really been three loads.
5. Cleaning a rather large house. It’s approximately 7500 square feet and every inch is filthy because it’s inhabited by a gang of toddlers.
6. The math behind a NASA mission to space.
7. Carving an intricate model of the New York City skyline out of brick.
8. Getting a commitment from your super indecisive friend, Brian, to go on that weeklong camping trip. It once took you two full weeks to get a maybe from him for Wednesday game night. When Wednesday finally rolled around that maybe turned into a I have measles and won’t be coming in to work today.
9. Fixing your printer’s “communication error”. You’ve been talking to a guy who may or may not be trying to scam you for the past two hours and now has complete access to your desktop.
10. Cooking anything in the crock pot. Okay, probably ribs.
11. Packing for a two week trip to Europe. But we all know two weeks could turn into I want to spend the next year in Europe, perhaps finding a prominent piece of real estate to open up a cafe or trampoline gym, so you pack for three weeks.
12. Doing your taxes. Because it’s that time of year and good luck to everybody.