9 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From the Person Cutting Your Hair

1. So we agreed that you WERE okay with the big chunk off the top?

2. It’s not what we talked about, but I think you’re still going to like it.

3. Eh, I think we’ll go ahead and go with my idea instead.

4. Did you know this is my first haircut? I didn’t go to school for it or anything, either. In fact, I don’t even work here. My sister does. But she’s sick for the day and asked me to fill in. Cool, right?

5. I’m sooo mad at him. Can you believe he did that? Drove his car into a light pole. Yeah, he’s totally fine. Walked away without a scratch. But the car—HA!—it’s totaled. It’s not even a good story. Like he was running away from the cops or anything. He was just texting. How unoriginal is that? It is kinda sweet that he was texting me, but he’s still got a long way to go before he’s out of the dog house. Maybe he can take me to that new Mexican place on the corner of Jefferson and Greene? Have you been there yet? My friend Debbie says the tamales are TO DIE FOR. Like she literally said she’d probably die for them. At least take a bullet to the leg. That’s how good they are. They also have dollar taco and beer night on Tuesday. What a deal, right? I mean, seven dollars and you’re out the door with a taco and six beers. Hard to beat. Oh, look at me. I’m rambling and cutting again. HA! I ended up taking quite a bit off. That’s what we talked about, right? Or did you just sit down? Don’t worry, it’ll grow back.

6. Alright sweetie, that’ll be $75 (for a male haircut that took ten minutes).

7. Thanks for giving me a chance, man. The last guy I cut ended up pretty disappointed and actually cried a little on the way out.

8. You know what the worst part about cutting hair is? Making conversation with the clients. Oh—no offense, though.

9. Whoops.

4 thoughts on “9 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From the Person Cutting Your Hair”

  1. Brilliant, but also scarily true. I’ve had 6 of these happen to me. I’ve also been openly mocked for having wonky sideburns and one hairdresser once stopped, stood back, pointed and laughed at my receding hairline. Tbh, the second of those incidents was so ridiculous I found it strangely endearing.

  2. Here is one for you that was once used on me when my hair was down to the middle of my back ” You have beautiful long hair and it is good you are growing it out now women should not have hair this long after 32. How old are you again?”
    Me: I will be turning 35 tomorrow.
    *loud sound of scissors *
    Hair dresser:There I cut 12 inches off so you have a haircut a women your age should have.

    Needless to say I did not pay

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